It is my first time attempting this, but hope it inspires YOU to do the same 🙂
Here are my top ten things I’ve learned this fall (in no specific order of importance, of course)
10. I don’t have to have an opinion about
E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G
We live in a world that is incredibly obsessed with oversharing and wanting to be right about every single issue that has ever been created. We’ve fallen in the trap of actually believing that half of our population is evil for not voting the other way. If anything, what this cruel Elections cycle taught me is not to feel forced to choose a side, especially when I haven’t been educated about all the pros and cons of each position.
I learned to simply pick my battles and fight hard for those things that actually do matter to me. Most importantly, I also learned to listen to those I don’t agree with to gain perspective and to challenge me to dig deeper and find out why I believe what I believe in the first place.
9. I am OCD about keeping things clean…
ALL THE TIME
I basically don’t ever store my vacuum and Swiffer. I also keep my Windex and paper towels in handy because I know I’m going to clean something soon. And Clorox wipes are my BFF and I’d like to give an awkward hug to whoever created them.
My obsession drives Kenny NUTS because he happens to be OCD about keeping all things organized and neatly stored.
Yes, I am also aware of my mommy status and mess-ups are bound to happen.
But THIS happened today.
Like I’m talking a few hours ago and I’m still on recovery mode.
My sweet boy ran to me this morning after he had his breakfast and wanted to cuddle with his mommy while he watched his daily dose of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I should have known better since my boy isn’t the cuddling-type, but he’s been fighting these pesky ear infections lately and is now on his second round of antibiotics, so I welcomed him with open arms and comforted him because I am determined to make him cuddle with me more. The next thing I know, he has vomited all over my right shoulder and his daddy’s favorite chair. I quickly set him on the floor but he slips on his own vomit and throws up on the carpet. As I try to calm him down, he starts running towards the steps as he vomits some more.
Then my OCD-self actually wondered if I should clean up the mess before attending to my boy. I mean, there’s puke on the carpet that may or may not leave a permanent stain, who knows?!
Don’t worry, I didn’t give in to my flesh, which brings me to…
8. I officially DESPISE ear infections!
It’s been non-stop sniffles and snots, which surprisingly don’t bother me as much as the vomiting and diarrhea. There’s also the irregularity in his sleeping/napping and feeding schedule and the irritability he must be feeling now that he has a double ear infection. Thankfully, not contagious or else no one will EVER see me or my child again… EVERRRR!
A lot of my insecurities have emerged and evolved because once again I’m reminded of how inexperienced I am as a mother. How do I take care of a little boy who can’t even tell me his tummy aches? How do I teach him how to say words to help him learn how to communicate when he can’t even hear me because of the fluid in his ears? How do I know what to feed him in order to soothe him? How do we prepare for the upcoming ear ventilation tube surgery?
7. I can’t compare my grief to others
It’s been almost six months since my life took a drastic course, but it took awhile for me to recognize that we all grieve very differently. I have yet to understand the complexity of grief, let alone explain my own, but that shouldn’t stop me from trying to learn from it and apply it to help others who may be struggling with the same.
I’m not only grieving my mother, but also a job I had to resign with so much pain and affliction. It wasn’t just a job, it was my ministry for seven years. It took counseling to help me realize that my grief came with collateral damage. I am not only sad about my resignation, but very angry with how it happened and when it happened… exactly two weeks after losing my mother. And as much as it pains me, forgiveness is the only cure.
“Never complain about yesterday’s defeats, for it could be your greatest victory tomorrow.”
Unknown
6. Ms. Grief should not be selfish and share her stages with Mr. Forgiveness
There are five stages of grief:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
I’m definitely past stage 1 but nowhere near 5. Some days I feel like I’m at a 4, other times I’m back at 2, and then I take a step forward to 3 to find myself stuck in 2 again.
But as I grieve, I’ve also learned forgiveness plays a major role and shouldn’t be excluded in another box. I can safely say that forgiveness should be able to share the same list as grief.
Just like grief, there are days I wake up accepting the fact that I must forgive while also there are those days where I refuse to do so. Just like grief, I stand between stage 2 and 4. Just like grief, forgiveness is a process. Just like grief, it hurts. Just like grief, it should not be forced. Just like grief, it should be released to the One who is able to heal it all.
Just like grief, it deserves a list of stages.
Forgiveness is a choice one must make EVERY DAY. It is NOT a one time decision.
Forgiveness is a process that is often skipped over; between 95%-100% of church congregants live with unforgiveness in their hearts– this includes *gasp* pastors, elders, deacons, and church leaders!
Forgiveness will not always grant us justice, but it will FREEDOM.
5. This is Us is therapy to my soul ❤
Growing up and while in college, I dreamed of writing for TV because I always found what was currently airing to be mostly garbage. But when I find a good TV show, I become as obsessed to it as I am with cleaning. Mandy Moore always stood out of the female pop artist pool of the 90’s and the early 2000’s, but her acting proved her unique from the others. When I discovered she was part of this show, I thought “why not?” But I had no clue what I signed up for. Crying comes with the package, if you don’t believe me, read the thousands of tweets about this show. #ThisIsUS
If you haven’t watched it, then you must be a hermit living in a cave. If you say you don’t have time to watch TV, I’m not saying you should watch all of NBC’s line up.
Then, it’s a date. Tuesday nights at 9pm.
4. I don’t know why it took me this long to get into Gilmore Girls, but I’m officially hooked!
I’m still on the early seasons, but what a wonderful show with very witty script-writing. Sadly, I’m very predictable and I’ve already read the spoilers…
3. I love our family’s new “Open-Door Policy” for the holidays
Kenny loves to cook (duh!) and I love to entertain… so why has it taken so long for us to invite people over for dinner or coffee? (except Joshie broke our coffee machine on Thanksgiving so I guess we can only offer dinner, for now).
Yes, I haven’t had coffee in a week… yikes!
After having our son, we became hermits who only worked and then crawled right back to their little hole to our baby hermit. Since we are not able to be super generous in gift-giving this holiday season, we hope we are able to bless others and we must get creative in doing so, plus we love the company 🙂
2. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for…
If there’s one thing grief has taught me was not to forsake those little blessings God tends to give us. Granted, there may be days I don’t feel like getting out of bed, but He amazes me with how He’s supplied ALL our needs in this season of scarcity and sometimes He’s even provided some things we wanted but couldn’t afford such as that time last month when we received Switchfoot tickets as if they were manna from Heaven. #WhereTheLightShinesThrough INDEED!
1. Mommy Brain is no joke and writing is my only remedy
Finally, it’s true! Mommy brain is real and forgetfulness is a very sad side effect; hence, I’ve been writing more… and more… and more. I love writing, not only because I get to share it with my one or two loyal readers, but because I get to remember all the little lessons God has taught me this season ❤
I write for self-discovery.
And in the Velsor household, we now write lists because no one wants to go back to the store after forgetting an essential ingredient or item for the week.
Ally Velsor 