And the Angel of the Lord appeared to him, and said to him, “The Lord is with you, you mighty man of valor!”

Judges 6:12

I’m about to write about one of our most vulnerable subjects brought up in the Velsor household.  This topic has been a very passionate one and has sparked some serious arguments between my husband and I.  These dialogues have become real reflections of my thought process, which according to him, can be spiritually and emotionally damaging and evoke the exact fearful reactions I’ve been trying to combat for so long, with the help of God’s Word.

As much as I enjoy a great story with lots of drama, comedy, romance, and suspense, I can’t stomach the inevitable cliffhanger that leaves every reader or viewer literally hanging or waiting for the next book, movie, or TV show.

That’s it.

That’s my big confession.

I’m all about the spoilers! I will search the whole wide internet until I find information to keep me in the know of all things, as insignificant as they may be.

It’s true, when I first read The Hunger Games, I went ahead and skipped to the last page of the last book because I wanted reassurance of my time not being wasted.  In our first year of marriage, my husband proudly got me into watching his DVD collection of his all-time favorite TV Show, 24, but as we got closer to the last episode of the first season, I went online and spoiled my viewing of the whole show– episode by episode.  I was relieved when I discovered the truth via all the spoilers: Jack Bauer’s sidekick  Nina was the real villain. After Jack’s pregnant wife uncovered the truth, Nina murdered her to silence her.  I didn’t have to watch it first, but when we finally did, my hubby was surprised I wasn’t moved by the ending of the first season.  I expected it.  He was not happy; probably, still not happy to this day, if you ask him.  It’s been five years… five… whole…years!

But we move on to even more mind-numbing entertainment…

We both have one common interest: our guilty pleasure–The Bachelor/Bachelorette series.  Every season, he gets furious with me for spoiling who the bachelor, or bachelorette, picks at the end.  I’ll even give him all the details as to how the contestants leave the show, if they voluntarily “end their journey to find love” or they get eliminated and why.  Sometimes, he’s curious and will just ask me what happens; but most of the times, the details unashamedly fly out of my mouth with no consideration or thought that some people actually crave the element of surprise, even when the show is a farce and they are not there for the “right reasons,”  so who cares?

My hubby does.  But not because he’s so invested in these bachelors’ lives.  He cares because of how much I care about spoilers and how they’ve conditioned me in wanting to know everything about my life.

Unfortunately, spoilers are not always readily available for my liking.

For instance, what will happen to Michael Cordero from Jane the Virgin?  After he married Jane, he got shot by his partner in crime, Detective Susanna Barnett.  It was revealed in the season finale, Susanna is actually international druglord Sin Rostro– with a mask!  The audience is left with a major cliffhanger– will one of the main stars now die on the eve of his wedding night in order to leave Jane a virgin and maintain the title of the show pure (pun-intended)?

The waiting is so heartbreaking. So unfair.  So crippling…

And this is where it goes beyond entertainment and it becomes very personal to me.

How so?  When we wait, we tend to merely exist.  When life doesn’t seem to go our way and we seem to miss opportunities, we react by stopping and staying where we are with no goals or plans motivating us to move forward.  I don’t know about you, but I want to know what happens next season without having to wait for it; it would give me something to look forward to.  Yet like another TV show, we await for the ending of one season and the beginning of the next one, without knowing what’s coming.

In the Book of Judges, Gideon, the mighty man of valor, is not sure about what God has just promised him.  He told Gideon he was going to be the one liberating the Israelites from the  Midianites, yet he asks God for a sign to validate His promise. But this wasn’t just another job for Gideon, it was his calling.  To Gideon, this meant everything and before he took it upon himself, he wanted to ask God multiple of times for different signs.  God did not rebuke Gideon while he sought confirmation as He has with other biblical characters; instead, God reaffirmed him time and time again, even after cutting his army from 32,000 to 300 men,  He will deliver Israel through Gideon’s valor and trust.

Ultimately, when Gideon was asked to be King, he humbly refuses because he doesn’t want to be the hero of the story, the Lord is.  Many times when we are successful, we want to take all the credit without acknowledging where our help comes from. 

 But Gideon said to them, “I will not rule over you, nor shall my son rule over you; the Lord shall rule over you.”

Judges 8:23

Gideon and I can relate in this,

We are constantly in need of reassurance.  The reassurance of wanting to know if our time will not be wasted by our endeavors is a fear of failure; it is much easier to choose not to invest our time into a project with the possibility of ending it in defeat, as all our efforts could go in vain.  It’s not that we don’t care about our calling, we are simply fearful of  discovering in all this time spent in great effort we were very mistaken, and we were in fact not called or much worse, we worked against the mission of those who are called. 

 How easy would our lives be if we could simply google our own spoilers or fast-forward to the end of our season finale?  Even better, what if we had access to our next season before it premiered?

Alas, that’s all only wishful thinking.  But this is when this unrealistic desire can become dangerous to our own faith.  There are times God simply wants to surprise us, but here we are wanting to get ahead of Him when all He’s asking is for us to look around and enjoy where we are today.

That saying people always quote to make us feel better when we feel stuck: “The journey is our destination,” well, there’s a reason why it is quoted quite often.  It’s a very accurate statement, and very biblical.  The journey is what transforms us and prepares us for the landing.  We often look forward to what’s next while missing out on the beauty of today.

One of the ways of enjoying today for me has been visiting one of my most favorite places with my son, the splash pad right by our beach.  Watching my fearless and courageous Joshie, my #lilvelsor, run through the splash pad while there are bigger kids there accidently pushing him to get to the source of all this water– the ground nozzle.  The pushing and the size of those kids don’t disconcert Joshie; instead he’s too focused admiring the water as it flows out of the nozzle and tries to grab it with no success.  But this doesn’t stop him from stubbornly trying again; in fact, he will go to the next nozzle and attempt to grab the water.  All of the sudden, the water sprays with much more intimidation and aggression; some kids run scared seeking mom’s comfort while others bounce with excitement–my son does the latter.  The water, at times, becomes taller than us moms cheering our kids on, before it subdues and completely stops without warning.  But the cycle must go on with the water flowing out with much gentleness, slowly graduating until the flow becomes aggressive once more, and it abruply dies again.  Joshie doesn’t expect it, but his gleeful little face confirms what God has been trying to teach me in this season of my life.  Our seasons in life are infused with excitement and disappointments, but the lessons remain in our soul as a reminder to keep our hearts and our hands open; humbly letting go of what no longer belong to us or receiving what does.  The secret is, it never belonged to us or what we think does now, it doesn’t.  Nothing in this life is ours.  When my mom passed away, she didn’t take her things with her.  Most of her stuff is now in my closet, waiting to be used or waiting to be discarded.

My son is an example to me; only 15 months old and already teaching me life lessons.  While I was attempting to chase after him in fear of an older child bumping into him, the flow of the water increased immensely out of nowhere.  I was standing right in the middle of the action and I got soaked!  At first, a bit bothered because I didn’t bring a change of clothes with me, but I looked down and Joshie was hysterically laughing with me.  We just had a moment. It was impromptu.  It was perfect.  Sure, I didn’t like the outcome, but that doesn’t mean the journey can’t be fun.  For someone who wants to always know what’s going to happen, I was pleasantly surprised by how fun it is not to always be in the know. 

We are not always going to agree with the outcomes of certain events in our lives, but they will not take away what we’ve learned while getting there.  We must get up and keep walking, even if we’re limping our way through the next stop.

Don’t let anything or anyone steal your hope– our hope is eternal, it doesn’t have an ending like all those books, movies, and TV shows. We are promised eternity.

Begin Forever by Switchfoot (from Where The Light Shines Through)

Like blood without a heart
Like a race without a start
Like a submarine stranded on the shore
Like a plane without the wings
A piano without strings
Like a memory we’ve forgotten what it’s for

Maybe we lost the plot, maybe gotten stuck
Well I’m holding on to what we got, I’m not giving up

It’s never to late to try
It’s never to late to finally find a way to make you right
Happily ever
I don’t need no alibis
I just need you by my side
I’m telling you one more time
It’s never to late to begin forever

Yeah, like a telephone line with nobody left to call
Like I’m living in a home that’s got no roof at all
Like a man who won the world and lost his soul
Yeah, without wonder, how could life ever be wonderful

What’s it worth if it costs you all your hope?
You and me, we got stories to unfold

Like a hammer without a nail
Like a ship without a sail
Like I’m all dressed up, but nowhere left to go

Without you, without you, it means nothing, nothing
Without you, without you, it means nothing

It’s never to late to try
We could begin forever
It’s never to late to try
Yeah
It’s never to late to try
Begin forever