And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Matthew 14:31

Good ole Peter, wanting to show off in front of his peers after they all witnessed Jesus “moon-walking” on the ocean.  At first, their reaction was fear.  “Is it a ghost?” But Jesus does what He always does, He reassures us: “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”

Peter immediately offered to join Jesus, but after he noticed how boisterous the wind was, he changed his mind as fast as he had proposed walking on the water with Jesus.  As soon as he stepped out of the boat, Peter sank.  Jesus’s response?  “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Is the boisterous wind stopping us from achieving what we know we are called to do?

Who or what represents the boisterous wind in our lives?

Are we putting our trust in our circumstances, money or even in people?

I called on the Lord in distress; The Lord answered me and set me in a broad place.  The Lord is on my side.  I will not fear.  What can man do to me?  The Lord is for me among those who help me; Therefore I shall see my desire on those who hate me.  It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.  It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in princes.

Psalm 118:5-9

In this last week, I’ve been wavering on the promises and the reassurances God has continually given me through His Word and songs.  I have my good days and I have my really bad days.  The last two days were bad.  It’s hitting me now more than ever, one of my most trusted person is gone.  It didn’t matter if I agreed with her or not, but I always called my mom for advice.  Even if I left upset after hearing what she had to say, she was still that person I trusted had my best interests in mind.

It doesn’t matter how much God can reassure me or how many dreams I have with my mother confirming everything will be fine in the end.  I know it will, but at the moment, I don’t feel it will.

The one thing that could have possibly helped me distract me from thinking about my grief is also gone.  Going back to work was my salvation.  That’s gone too… and that’s precisely why.

You pushed me violently, that I might fall, but the Lord helped me.  The Lord is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation.

Psalm 118:13-14

Now I’m left alone with nothing else to think but “why?”  Everything I’ve read and I’ve written, I profoundly believe, but why can’t my heart make the connection with my soul? 

As I meet with friends, I confidently share with them how God has comforted me through this season, which He has given me that “peace that surpasses understanding”.  But I somehow feel this weight as I grieve to uplift and encourage everyone else because there’s this duty in my mind I have to fulfill.  I try to avoid the pity looks and the sympathy because I know where my mom is and I rejoice in that alone.  But now I deal with her absence, a void that can never be filled.  There’s absolutely nothing anyone can say.  Nothing.

The truth is, like Peter, I want to walk on the ocean, but I would have also found reasons not to. 

As we read this story, I feel for Peter.  We will never know his motivation to step out in faith.  Was he showing off?  Or did he truly want to experience a miracle?  I want the latter.  Although I make the assumption Peter wanted to show off, we will truly never know.  But poor Peter, we all look at him with disapproval when most of us would have done the same exact thing… perhaps, for different reasons.  Peter became the butt of jokes, the coward, and the big-mouthed disciple who acted like he knew it all.  Yet did anyone pay attention to the story? Peter did step out of the boat.  Although, his soul instructed him to step out in faith, perhaps, his heart was doubtful.   Perhaps, Peter felt he was going to sink just like I feel I’m sinking.  This doesn’t erase Jesus’ promise to Peter two chapters after this incident…

Simon Peter answered and said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”

Jesus answered and said to him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.  And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.  And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

Matthew 16:16-19

I can relate to the Peters of this world; we look around and we feel this constant pressure to accept what happens in life and simply deal with all our trials biblically, yet the lack of compassion is immeasurable.  If only those expectations on how one should heal weren’t there.  We are all so different and because of that, we will process grief, forgiveness and healing differently. Restoration is not so simple and it doesn’t happen overnight.

Instead of looking down on Peter for doubting, encourage him to try again.  There’s nothing more disheartening than placing people in boxes with labels on them… and then giving up on them because they don’t meet that standard or they don’t meet it in your timing.  Because we doubt when we should believe wholeheartedly.  Because we should grieve, forgive and heal fast enough.

The Peters of this world know what to do, but they have a difficult time making the connection from their souls to their hearts.  Spur them on and remind them of their potential.  Don’t give up on them.

God has given each and everyone of us a promise.  The promise should be our labels, not our inabilities.

Float by Switchfoot (From Where The Light Shines Through)

OK, let’s do it

Turn it up so I can feel it
Turn it up so I can be near it
Baby says she’s got that feeling
Moon-walking on the ceiling

It’s alright, all alright

Turn it up so I can feel it
Loud enough so I can get near it
Baby’s in that slow emotion
Moon-walking on the ocean

It’s how we float, yeah
Feet ain’t even touching ground
It’s how we float, yeah
Flying at the speed of sound
I’m in orbit like a jet pilot
Ain’t no gravity to try to fight it
It’s how we float, yeah
We ain’t never coming down

Don’t you need someone to lean on?
Don’t you need that taste of freedom?
It don’t take no education
All you need’s an invitation

Away from the crowds where you realize
The herd’s insecure or the free mind
So don’t let em tell you what to feel like
They can’t bring me down, can’t bring me down, yeah
Money gonna run away hardest
Money gonna leave you brokenhearted
But money can’t finish what we started
It can’t bring me down, can’t bring me down, yeah