There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all. But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all: for to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healings by the same Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills. (I Corinthians 12:4-11 NKJV

Finding inspiration can be the beginning of something great that only God can use for the sole purpose of expanding His kingdom. He created us with different gifts so that we could be the blessing others can experience as we live in the here and now. God had used Switchfoot to further my search of Him; their songs have carried a tune in my hopes, my fears, my dreams, my joys, and my sorrows. Through their songs, I have experienced both laughter and tears in my journey of faith. As a late anniversary surprise, we drove to Jacksonville to watch them live! As we told Jon Foreman and the guys when we met them, Kenny planned the trip and I booked it! When Kenny first met me, he also met Switchfoot. Finally, he now understands the impact their music has had in my life and I got to share my past in the present with my future.

The Fading West Tour is very unique as it is the first in the world to showcase a film/documentary. At first, we weren’t too sold on sitting for nearly 2 hours to watch a movie in a concert, but the film is the explanation of their inspiration in their next album. That’s when I realized, that even if we possess great talents, we must always be in search of inspiration. Without it, we are the dead men walking. Switchfoot’s passion in faith, music, and surfing is the drive behind the scenes of Fading West as they travelled around the world for a whole year to find inspiration. They left their families behind in Southern California, which at first seems a bit irrational since they are all married with kids. But their ministry is to reach the world with their songs and to inspire them to search deeper for a God who created them and who loves them. They play in churches and bars…and as the film documented, in a metal-rock festival in Australia where they were the odd men singing songs about hope in a very dark place. Then Jon received a call from his wife that his daughter is about to undergo surgery. The band is then left with the decision of whether they should go on without their lead singer or cancel the trip. They decide to go on because they knew there was a greater purpose and they must find it. Eventually, Jon met up with them to finish what they had all started. My favorite part was seeing them reunite with their wives and children, and having all their kids sing the chorus in one of their new songs, “Who We Are.”

Their experience parallels mine. Exactly a year ago, I was left without inspiration and although I had family and friends around, I felt alone. I performed everything out of routine, but it was evident that my joy was gone. Working in a church forced me to hide what I was really feeling inside because God forbid I share what was going on in my dark heart. I hid behind my smile, but my smile soon disappeared and was replaced by an angry and bitter expression. Everyone thought that my life was perfect because I had just gotten married and I believed the lie that I had no identity outside of my marriage. In reality, my identity has always been in Christ alone and as a married woman, my husband and I have become ONE. I have the most loving husband because even in my darkest times, he remained faithful in loving me and honoring me. He truly lived out Ephesians 5:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:25-28 NKJV)

One year ago, I also found my identity in my job as a server in a restaurant in a church. I also believed the lie that my job defined me and I would always be stuck serving. My joy in service was gone because I didn’t love people. I started focusing on their flaws and their hypocrisy so one Friday night, I walked out in the middle of my shift. We are full of expectations on how others should act because as Christians, we live with a higher standard. In the eyes of many, I should have been fired under the spot. But I had never been treated with so much grace after this incident. The people that I had accused of being hypocritical had forgiven me and accepted me back into their family. Needless to say, that’s where my journey in search of inspiration began. Slowly, God began giving me a heart to love even when I’m not loved in return. Even Jesus says it is easy to love those that love us back, but the challenge lies on loving our enemies and the not so loving. Kenny exemplified that with me. He loved me even when I wasn’t so loving.

Back in July, Kenny and I had our Fading West moment, except we faded more into NYC. This was truly a trip of a lifetime as our passion is the food and service industry. I was practically raised in my dad’s restaurants and Kenny was the chef at a prestigious restaurant. The restaurant industry, unfortunately, can be a very dark place to work as one can find a world of drugs, alcohol, and sex. I remember seeing some of my dad’s employees working some of their shifts high or drunk. There was no hope in their eyes.

We went to some of the nicest restaurants and experienced great food and excellent service. We came back with so many ideas to make our ministry better. I came back refreshed with a desire of giving people the best service they could get. My standards for service became my goal to think of others better than myself. I didn’t want to focus on how upset or how hungry or how tired I may feel.

My university had this slogan: “Barry University…where you belong.” For the past year, I had doubts of where I did in fact belonged. I was always trying to find a way out of the ministry God had called me to. He always found a way to shut those doors and He led me back to where I belong…for now.

The concert ended with a song from their album Vice Verses

Where I Belong

Feeling like a refugee
Like it don’t belong to me
The colors flash across the sky

This air feels strange to me
Feeling like a tragedy
I take a deep breath and close my eyes
One last time

Storms on the wasteland
Dark clouds on the plains again
We were born into the fight

But I’m not sentimental
This skin and bones is a rental
And no one makes it out alive

Until I die I’ll sing these songs
On the shores of Babylon
Still looking for a home
In a world where I belong

Where the weak are finally strong
Where the righteous right the wrongs
Still looking for a home
In a world where I belong

Feels like we’re just waiting, waiting
While our hearts are just breaking, breaking
Feels like we’ve been fighting against the tide

I wanna see the earth start shaking
I wanna see a generation
Finally waking up inside

This body’s not my own
This world is not my own
But I still can hear the sound
Of my heart beating out
So let’s go boys, sing it loud

And on the final day I die
I want to hold my head up high
I want to tell You that I tried
To live it like a song

And when I reach the other side
I want to look You in the eye
And know that I’ve arrived
In a world where I belong

I still believe we can live forever
You and I we begin forever now
Forever now
Forever
I still believe in us together
You and I we’re here together now
Together now
Forever now

We drove to Georgia the next day and back home, and listening to this song caused me to have a good cry because my desire for Heaven grew. Knowing that I haven’t arrived yet, but with the hope that someday there will be no more tears, there will be no more pain, and no more doubts!

Recently, I was promoted to manager and now more than ever I’m certain of my purpose in our ministry. It’s been a challenging experience as I’m learning a whole new spectrum of what we do. Although my gift isn’t primarily to lead, I’m an encourager. I want to love people and to see them succeed. It pains me when I see others trapped the way I was trapped, and with this new role God gave me, I can motivate them.

So yes, inspiration is essential to living. Not because “it takes us places,” but it helps us fulfill our roles with excellence. My identity isn’t in my job position, but in Christ alone.

Thank you Switchfoot for exemplifying that in the most practical way possible! In humility.

“If you approach the world with the apron of a servant, then you are allowed to go places that you can’t go if you approach it with the crown of a king.”
Jon Foreman