Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. (Philippians 2:3, 4 NLT)

When casually speaking to a table at work last Sunday I was reminded of how faithful God is. If they only knew that their small reminder would become my only hope this week…

As I previously mentioned in my most recent post, my mom had to undergo surgery to remove a couple of tumors in her pelvic region this past Tuesday. Along the surgery, doctors also had to perform a hysterectomy to prevent any of the cancer cells remaining in her body from affecting any organs. For this reason, she must go through six months of chemotherapy starting in two weeks.

Our wedding anniversary followed on Wednesday and to make everything more difficult, Kenny and I both had to work. My dad was also suffering from what looked like a serious throat infection. That evening I was informed he was joining my mother as her new roommate in the hospital. Needless to say, we had to postpone our anniversary celebration…

All I want to do is to scream and cry so loud that I hope my family in Italy can hear the pain in my heart. Every time I think of my mom going through chemo, I just break down because of how helpless I am. All I can do is pray… I don’t think I’ve prayed so much in my life. Then the song “Worn” by Tenth Avenue North came on as I was driving home and every lyric echoed my thoughts and my tears:

I’m tired
I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing

I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I’m too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

And my prayers are wearing thin
I’m worn even before the day begins
I’m worn I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn so heaven so come and flood my eyes

In the last week, I’ve had to train three new servers at the restaurant. Work has served as a distraction, but it has also given me a newfound perspective. Training and investing in others have helped me look beyond my problems and also have made me “think of others as better” than myself. In the past, my thoughts always consumed me and it affected the way I’d treat others. I used to take all my frustrations on innocent bystanders, instead of separating my issues from my attitude. I’m not a big fan of Captain Jack Sparrow, but I recently read a quote by him that says it all:

“The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.”

…so with that being said, in order to relieve the pain life may brings us from time to time, we must come out of our self-centeredness to become others-centered. A good reminder is to always find that “peace that surpasses all understanding” in the discomfort we may be feeling to understand that we are not the only ones suffering, but to look at our surroundings and comfort those who are also in this struggle of life. To find joy in the trials and afflictions by appreciating how good and faithful our Lord is in other areas of our lives. To find empathy and consideration for others is what Jesus constantly practiced as He lived among us, but now as He resides in our hearts, may that be our expression to others: His unconditional love!